Dear world
by Paige sunshine neeley
Summary: Envy, is just another typical artistic/gothic girl in a no where town. Having already atempted suicide, she has convinced herself and those around her that her life isnt worth living. Until, she mets a certain handsome stranger who calls himself...Alec
1. Chapter 1

Dear world,

I loved without reason. I gave without interest. I lived for the poetry, and now, I die for the prose.

With sympathy, empathy, love…

Envy.

Envy stopped, throwing aside carelessly the neon green pen, and held the red sliver of crumpled paper close to her face, covered in smeared violet make-up, and unapologetic apathy. She held it there between two delicate, shaking hands, and studied the words objectively. It was a nice note, she concluded. Poetic enough, certainly, though perhaps void of explanation. She was certain that all those in her life would openly and willingly accept it as being her own dramatic gesture.

She sat the down the note, which though incredibly small and thin, felt heavy and obtuse in her hands. She smoothed out the rough surface on the hardwood floor beside her, to the best of her ability. She thought momentarily, about how she would go about it. There were several methods she had considered. She thought of terms such as hanging, asphyxiation, and cutting, without so much as a flinch.

Cutting, she thought, would be the most effective. It was visually dramatic and easy. "Yes," she thought, the voice in her head calm and cool "Cutting is the way to go." She put her long graceful legs, covered by long black and white striped stockings, underneath her and stood. Only then did she begin to feel the nausea and the blood rushing to her head.

She walked slowly and purposefully towards the dresser opposite her in the cramped messy room. On top, there was one razor. Clean, and smooth. Straight from a package she had found at a friend's house. She picked it up, and walked back to her place on the cold floor.

She briefly considered doing it on the bed, but then dismissed it, seeing as it would make the sheets messy, and she wanted as clean of a sweep as she could manage. It was an odd thought, and she knew it. But, when you're contemplating suicide, there are very little thoughts in your head that ever actually seem sane.

She slid back down towards the floor, and could feel her skin tightening underneath her baggy black jacket. She paused, fidgeting for a moment, distracting herself with the minor details of her surroundings. She pushed her choppy, layered hair, stripped ebony and green, back away from her eyes. She smoothed the wrinkles out of her crimson skirt with nervous hands. And she began counting, one after the other, the reason she was doing this…

Mother.

Yes, her mother. So sweet and well meaning, so kind, despite all her flaws. Had perished, not a week before. Her life had come to a screeching halt, as she had finally succumbed to the addiction that had ruled most of her life. She had fought it so long, trying so hard to be a real mother, to follow through on the promises, all without any success.

Her school.

It was full, of careless, uncalculated idiots, who were about as deep as a puddle in a desert. They pushed her, tortured her, and called her many names. And though, she had always met the taunts with a smile, and a laugh, no one ever knew how deep the mental scars were, screaming in her head.


	2. As the crimson teardrops fall

Alec stood intently on the cold street corner, peering deep and thoughtfully into the black abyss of night. It was particularly quiet in the small town, and he was able to find comfort from the headache that overwhelmed him at the moment, in this fact. He sat, thinking of everything and nothing, not sure what he should be thinking.

"You don't just leave the volturi.." he spoke ever so softly himself, objectively at first. "You DON'T just LEAVE the Volturi," He screamed inside his head as the cold reality of the mistake that he had made, knowing it more than likely would be his downfall.

But, with the fear and anxiety, there came an unnamable peace. He was free. Free from what, he wasn't quite sure. He had never complained before about his treatment, considering his treatment had been rather fair. Almost like that of royalty.

But, ever since they had attacked the Cullens…In that field, on that dreary part of the day, he had realized something. He had never really been free. He had always had an invisible string attached to him…pushing and pulling him in a perpetual motion, and whether he agreed with every decision the volturi mde or not, made no difference. He would still follow them. Fully. Faithfully. Loyally.

And so, in the dark of the night, as the others were either intent in their work, or out hunting, he told his dearest Jane that he was going in search of a snack. Found the first plane to America he could, and left for another chance, at another life…

And so there he was, in a nowhere town, full of nobody people, and he wasn't sure what he was suppose to do next.

Suddenly, he heard the faintest whimper, that he thought he had ever heard before. Curious, he followed it down the road, to a small home, with a littered yard. He saw the source of the whimper, was a girl. A beautiful one at that. She sat there, face smeared with makeup, and a razor in her hand.

At first, he thought her weak, selfish, silly…and all together idiot. "The world is better without her weak willed kind anyway" he thought…But then, he looked at her, and how beautiful she really was. She was almost as pale as he, with the most perfect porcelain skin he thought he had ever seen. Her eyes were beautiful pale blue-gray, and a perfect almond shape, just above two high, beautiful, rosy cheeks. Her lips were small, and deep red, and they were trembling. She had shiny black and green hair that was short, but fell across her face just perfectly. Yes, a beautiful girl. A beautiful waste.

And as he sat there contemplating her situation, he thought of his. How hopeless his predicament was, how doomed he would soon be. He began to feel pity for her. He shut his eyes and thought of all the possible reasons a girl like this, so beautiful and gentle, could have for wanting to end it all.

Then, he stopped, as the most delicious scent filled his nostrils, and the desired to feed swept over him. However, when he opened his eyes, he was horrified. He saw this beautiful face, on this delicate body tremble and shake, as crimson slipped down and across her wrist and onto the cold hardwood floor. He saw the life leaving her eyes, she had minutes at most.

In a moment of confusion and desperation, he smashed the window that separated them and lunged for her. He picked her up gently. She was cold. So cold. He thought back on all his years, and never had he seen anything so cold and fragile. He took her outside and sat kneeled beside her begging her to miraculously survive. He ripped his garment and used it to stop the blood flow, but he could tell by the glazed expression in her eyes it was too late.

He had two options, and he had to make the choice quick…make her a vampire…leave her for dead.

He decided, as he pushed back her hair, and bit into her shoulder…that he had never felt skin, so soft.


	3. To long for something better,

Envy felt cold...so cold. Like the breath of winter was pushing through her, and replacing the warm blood that had once held there position in her viens. She laid there, in the pool of crimson, and watched as the world changed around her. The room was spinning, her head was light, her skin was ice...

she was finally free.

She had not a care in the world. Because, when she woke up, if she woke up, she would wake up to a world better than what she had known. No more bullies, no more lies, no more tears and dissapointments. Envy had never been religious, but, as she felt her concious leaving and her eyes rolling in the back of her head, she heard herself begin to recite a scripture that had always brought her comfort...something from revelations...something to good to be true...

"And he will wipe every tear from their eyes, and deat will be no more, neither will mourning, nor outcry, nor pain be anymore...the former things have passed away...''

"MY former things have passed away.." She thought..

Suddenly, she heard something past the ringing in her ears. She didnt much care, though it sounded like the breaking of a window. Soon, she was even colder than she had been before, as icy arms enclosed about her and began to drag her off. She wanted to protest. In her head she was screaming let go. But, she was too beyond help to even try. she knew, there was nothing they could do at this point anyway.

She felt as the arms carried her off and sat her down gently...so gently...

more gently than anything she had felt before.

She looked up, trying hard to see their face, hoping it was beautiful...she wanted the last thing she saw to be beautiful...but, she could see nothing but blur through her teary fading eyes...

She felt the stranger stroke her softly..and heard a sad, beautiful voice begging her not to go...she wanted to comfort them. To let them really now that this was what was best for her...for the world...

She felt the stranger stroke her hair back...and then...the most abrute feeling...they bit her...bit her hard...she was shocked, scared...horrified.

That was when she felt the fire. that was when acid began to move through her viens.

Her screams could be heard by everyone for miles...


	4. awake

Alec watched wordlessly as the small frail figure thrashed upon the cold floor, of the abandoned apartment. The good news was, it was distracting, and he no longer worried about the volturi's plans for his future. But, now, this little figure, like a porcelain doll, gave him new worries all together. What would he do with her? Would he keep her? Care for her?

The very idea of taking that kind of responsibility, quite frankly, made him sick…But, as he looked upon her, her face wiped clean of the globs of makeup it once bore…he found himself, often, longing to reach out…touch her…hold her…

He had made an attempt to once. The second night, as twilight was approaching..it seemed that she had given up on fighting and thrashing, and had finally restricted herself to heavy breathing and looking around with wide eyes. As he saw her, finally quiet, he had lain there, and slowly worked his arms around her thin…frail…waist….

He had never been slapped with more force from any being. At least, he didn't think so…he thought back on every battle ever fought…never had any of his opponents carried so much force or anger behind their blows.

So, from that point forward, he kept his distance and kept his fantasies as merely that…fantasy. But now, the end of the third day was drawing near, and her thrashing began to slow and her screams began to soften…for the first time ever, she rose.

He saw her face clearly, heard her voice sharply…Finally for the first time. He assumed, after the powerful blow she had administered the previous night. But she didn't look angry or indignant. She looked small and scared. He saw her eyes glisten as tears began to well up inside them. "What happened? Where am I!" She looked at herself in a nearby abandoned mirror with disbelief. Her face, once beautiful, had reached pure perfection. The softest most feminine features, the reddest lips, the highest cheeks, the sharpest most beautiful eyes…He reached up a small, soft hand and touched the face in the mirror…

"what am I?"


End file.
